How I’m feeling today.

Today I’ve got a really weird, random fibro pain. The place where my appendix used to be hurts, in sporadic, random bursts. Not great, but at least it isn’t constant.

Maybe the supplements are wrong?

So when my alarm went off this morning and I stumbled and limped down the hallway to take my morning pills, it occurred to me that I was waking up in more pain than I’d gone to sleep in.

I’m sleeping, but I’m waking up in pain.

I think I need to get back on the 5htp for the pain. We’ll see. Either way, something has to be added on. I’m not willing to give up my gabapentin or the sleep it’s finally given me.

How I’m feeling todWHAT THE FUCK?!

Dear Body:

I understand I hurt my shoulder by doing some repeated actions with it. Sleeping is NOT a repeated action. Stop getting worse at night.

Love,

Nix

How I’m feeling today.

First, let me add onto my last post with additional information about my hands. The following are things that seem to severely hurt my hands (and then render them useless for a few minutes, and the best I can tell, cause more damage): vacuuming, sweeping, holding a magazine, holding a small handheld game (or my phone). I seem to still be OK holding a book, holding up a tray at work, holding glasses at work.

The other point to this post is something I learned the hard way last night and this morning. Last night at work it was incredibly slow, so I washed the tops of every table in my room (I’d say there are 19 of them), then polished the wood on the four pool tables in there as well. By the end, my right shoulder was a bit sore, but once I’d stopped for a while, it seemed to be fine.

Until this morning, that is. Ugh. My shoulder feels like there’s something in my back that’s misaligned (but I don’t think that there is). I took two ibuprofen with my morning pills and will take two more later today. I’m going to see if I can’t knock it out in only a day or so this time.

How I’m feeling right now.

I ran out of my [obscenely expensive] antihistamines this morning, meaning allergy attack, meaning mild fibro-flare. It’s extremely annoying, but mostly tolerable (although I can’t function with much or sleep, much as I’d like to do both).

The other news is about my hands. The pain in my hands from anything directly using them other than typing or holding a book is almost instant now. I can’t hold a pen or write for more than a few minutes.

That’s all I’ve got.

Supplements

I haven’t done a supplement post in a while. After over a year of begging, my Dr. was finally willing to give me my gabapentin back. That means you get a new supplements photo! Read the rest of this entry »

How I’m feeling.

It’s been a while again, hasn’t it.

Last night I got home from work, hopped in the bath to ease my aching legs, took a bath, stood up to get out, and my body went

OH HAI, I HATE YOU. FLAIR UP!

Joy. Today everything hurts. My legs hurt so bad I can barely walk. Stairs are like mountains. Tall, steep, painful mountains. I’m completely exhausted. I slept from about 11:30 last night through 3:30 this afternoon, with breaks to take some pills, pee, take another bath, and call work. Luckily for me I have a manager who understands chronic pain and they sent me home the second I got there (after a long chat about “What is this Fibro you speak of?”).

Now I’m going to order food (because there is none in the house and walking is no longer an option), eat, then get back in bed. I don’t care if I sleep. Bed is more comfortable than anything not bed.

How I feel this morning.

Right now, I feel (and admit to feeling) something that I rarely ever do. Right now I’m very angry with/unhappy at my body. Right now I’m feeling sorry for myself. I just spent almost 7 hours on my feel (in heels) for the first time in almost 5 years. I would have to eat something to take my pills. I don’t want to eat. I want to just get in bed and go to sleep, but if I do that I know that I’ll wake up tomorrow in even more pain than I’m already in. I didn’t know what to expect today and I pushed myself too hard because of it and I’m hurting bad enough that even with pills I’d not want to do anything tomorrow. Right now I want a normal body with normal nerves and normal joints and normal feet. I want to have a normal night’s sleep without having to go through special things. Right now I want my second day at my new job to be positive and I want to go there and offer everything I can. I don’t want them to know that today hurt me as bad as it did.

Right now I wish I wasn’t me. I know that I don’t genuinely mean that, and it makes me [more] sad that I’m feeling this way. I’m one of the biggest pushers of “Love Thyself,” but right now I’m being a hypocrite. That’s the one thing I hate the most. OK that’s not true, I hate liars more. So right now I’m being the thing I hate second most.

How I f….ouch god damn it.

Well, no wonder I was hurting. I have SICK. My head is full of slugs that are partying to polka while wearing stilettos. Everything hurts. EVERYTHING. My hands and back hurt particularly bad.

How I feel today.

Everything hurts.